My two plus year old LOVES his milk! For him it is the way to start his day and the way to refuel and the way to go when his routine goes for a toss. For a few months now, I had noticed how he wouldn't let go of a toy even at meal times and would insist on holding on to them on his high chair. A lot of times, this led to the milk spilling, a tantrum and eventually a fresh glass of milk being placed in front of him.

A week ago, he was again all set to drink his milk, while holding onto a toy phone in one hand and some other toy (I forget what) in the other. My repeated instructions to "be careful or you might spill your milk" were obviously lost on him. The very next second the glass toppled onto the tray and the milk was all over it. My immediate impulse was to yell, but I held my tongue. Instead with a calmness that I just didn't feel, I took the tray (with my son screaming in the background), emptied the milk into the sink and replaced it. I took a towel to my son and told him (very calmly) that he had to wipe the tray clean. Which he did ( and fortunately that stopped the screaming since he loves to mop!) Now came the difficult part. The fresh glass of milk that my son was expecting. I did not bring it. I told him since the milk spilled he couldn't have it. He reminded me that there was more in the kitchen (I am not kidding!) I was shocked to hear that. It suddenly hit me, that here was a perfect example of why kids lose respect for food- because they never feel the lack of it! I knew I had hit upon a "teachable" moment. I told him that yes, we had milk in the kitchen but that was for later in the day. The "right now" milk was gone after it was spilled (I took care to not blame him directly) and so he had to go for his nap without having had milk. He fussed a bit but I stayed firm (oh and yes it made me feel terribly guilty) and anyway, he dozed off.

While he slept I just couldn't make up my mind about the rightness or wrongness of my act. I kept debating over and over in my head. One part of me was feeling really guilty while the other held onto the belief that I had done no wrong. Finally, when my son woke up we cuddled for a while as we usually do and then I couldn't wait to test my theory that I had in fact helped him learn an important lesson. This is how our conversation went:

Me: Sweetie, did you drink your milk before the nap?

Son: No.

Me: And why was that?

Son: Because milk fell down. Milk fell down, so no milk.

I leave it to you to decide if my theory was right.